Well Played: Paris Hilton


well-played

Well, great. Do you hear those hooves? It’s that quartet of apocalyptic jockeys coming.

Paris Hilton

I officially envy how Paris Hilton looks while knocking around town doing errands. All of 2004-08 would never believe it.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Recent Candids of Reese Witherspoon


Reese seems like she’s in a good mood lately. Come with me and eyeball her sunglasses and solve a cookbook mystery.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fines: The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe


It seems VERY BOLD, to me, to invite your children to  your Comedy Central roast. Then again, Rob Lowe’s children have Google and probably read his autobiography, so what secrets could there be.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played: The Best Accessories of August 2016


Shoes! Jewels! Bags! Muscles! Socks! Medals! Sportsmanship! Pastries?

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What the Fug: Kim Kardashian and Olivia Munn at Kanye’s “Famous” Exhibit


Kim & Olivia

OLIVIA: Hey Kim.

KIM: Heyyyyyyy.

OLIVIA: So… I thought this was a costume party?

KIM: Kickin’.

OLIVIA: Yes, but… was I not supposed to come as a Kardashian?

KIM: Bangin’.

OLIVIA: Because like, the braids, and the sheers, and these shorts… I’m kind of all of you rolled into one.

KIM: Roll it baby.

OLIVIA: Okay seriously though. Is this a costume party?

KIM: That’s fly.

OLIVIA: Are you even listening?

KIM: It’s a wig.

OLIVIA: Can I just say anything I want right now?

KIM: That’s sooooo dope.

OLIVIA: Oh, okay, this could be good. That outfit is the worst.

KIM: Rad.

OLIVIA: It’s a mesh bag over long underwear. And it’s giving you a labia shadow.

KIM: Oh em GEEE that would be the best Snapchat filter.

OLIVIA: NOW you pay attention? Shit.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Premiere of When The Bough Breaks


When the Bough Breaks is a The Hand That Rocks the Cradle for the new millennium, best I can tell (certainly, the similarities are intentional, given that the line is “when the bough breaks, the cradle will rock”) and every time I see the trailer on TV, I find myself mesmerized, and not only because the Slow Ominous Version of “The Boy Is Mine” is kind of amazing:

It feels very Lifetime — Psychotic Surrogate On the Loose! is a movie on Lifetime every seventy-two minutes — but so was the original, and also, as you know, I love Lifetime movies. I once spent an entire Sunday watching three Menendez Brothers movies in a row. In short, I am here for this and not only because of Morris Chestnut; in a cineplex overrun with superhero movies, I long for the return of the cheesy, satisfying sexual thriller.

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Fugs and/or Fabs: Lupita Nyong’o and Janelle Monae


fug-or-fab

I put these women together in this post mostly because I could not resist using this picture — is it weird if I kind of want to put it on MY piano? — and it felt mean to write about Janelle and make you wait an hour for Lupita, and vice versa.

[Photos: Getty]

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