Your Afternoon Chat: Butter (and Toast)

Yes, butter. Man, I love butter. Sometimes bread, for me, is really just A Thing On Which To Deliver Butter Into My Mouth. So let’s just indulge in some butter talk.


On Twitter today, we got into a big discussion about butter — specifically, how people store their butter. In one corner, you have the people who are afraid it’ll spoil and so keep it chilled in the fridge, even though this means it’s not easily spreadable. in the other, you have folks who’ve kept butter on the counter their whole lives and are comically AGHAST at the people who live any other way. (A subset of this group might be, say, Lidded Butter Dish On Counter vs. Proper Butter Bell.)

And somewhere in between, you get the folks like me. I’d never HEARD of butter going anywhere except in the fridge, and I had no idea what a butter bell was until today. (It’s a ceramic thingy — technical term — wherein you put cold water into a container, mash the butter into a dish-shaped part of the lid and then close it so that the butter is basically upside-down and facing or touching the water. I have so many questions. Why is it not creepy to have the butter in the lid touching water? How often does gravity win and the butter plops out of the lid INTO the water? And what if you forget to change the water every three days or whatever the rule is? I don’t know if I need one more thing to be paranoid I won’t do.) And then you factor in climate, and unsalted butter spoiling faster than salted butter, and my general nervousness about food spoiling… Y’all, have I been living wrong this whole time? Educate me, Fug Nation.

So, let’s talk butter. How do you store it? How much do you use it? How long will it last before it kills me from mold or toxins or bacteria or whatever? What is your favorite use of butter? How do you feel about ghee, for those of you who aren’t eating milkfat?  (I once tried to make my own ghee and it went so, so badly.) What is your favorite butter substitute, either for spreading or cooking, when such a thing is required?


I assume it’s not this. (Also, remember Molly McButter? THEY STILL MAKE IT. Surely chemical butter powder will kill us all before actual butter does.)

And finally, since I assume many of you will say the best use of butter is on toast (UNDERSTANDABLY), what is your best toast technique? Best bread, best method — Fug National Jasmine copped to using a cast-iron skillet — best toppings with/other than butter, best timing for the best level of crunch… well, I guess I know what I’m going to be eating while I read the comments.

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Well Played, Gina Rodriguez


Okay, this dress is totally cute, but I mostly want to talk about (a) how great her haircut is, and (b) how do we feel about what’s happening on Jane the Virgin right now? I found the season premiere a little hard to get through in terms of holding my interest, but the second episode really — to me — felt like it got right back on track. Having said that, I’m not really Team Michael, and I can’t see that particular situation unraveling, so I’ll be interested to see how they negotiate all their various romantic geometry.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Fugs and Fabs: The Recent Looks of Eva Longoria

It’s time for my semi-annual plea to the universe to give Eva Longoria a job where her impeccable comic timing is appreciated and I can enjoy it weekly.  Can she be Dre’s new co-worker on black-ish? Should she come back to Brooklyn 99? Is there a part for her on Jane the Virgin? COME ON, HOLLYWOOD. Work with me.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Recent Fugs: Bella Hadid

Or as I like to unscramble her, “Bella did? HA!”

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Unfug or Fab: Felicity Jones in Erdem


Felicity Jones

I want to like this — how often, by the way, do I write that basic sentiment? — but the ribbons are too cutesy for me and the cut too shapeless. I might begin my revamping by cutting it off at that horizontal seam in her knee region. I would definitely keep the shoes and the nail polish.

Basically, I’m hearing Tim Gunn tsk, “Student work,” although perhaps he’s referring to the quality of this post. Sometimes, I just want to show you an outfit, but there are no elegantly eloquent ways to poke at it,and yet it’s not SO bad that I can go full “WORDS WORDS WORDS” on it. This is not “WORDS” bad. It’s more like… “A few light syllables.” Which is to say, and I know I’ve said it before: There is a hole in this bucket. Fix it, dear Henry. Dear Henry, fix it.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fugs and Fabs: The Princess Grace Awards

In which Naomi Campbell is a goddess, Princess Charlene looks lovely, and Rose Leslie looks very cozy with a dude who is NOT Kit Harington (although she doesn’t actually look that thrilled about it). Did she and Jon Snow break up? Why didn’t anyone tell me? (The internet thinks they’re still together, but with rumors of a break-up. WHAT IS THE ANSWER?)

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


The FLOTUS Fug File: Michelle Obama’s Most Memorable Gowns

It’s a Wednesday (or so I’m told). Personally, I prefer Mondays, because the promise still exists of a week unblemished by broken resolve. By Wednesday I’ve already bummed myself out and given up on the rest of the week in the hope of starting fresh again on, yes, Monday.

So let’s try and apply balm to the wound with a look back at the most memorable Michelle Obama gowns. She more or less closed her diplomatic FLOTUS career last week in that stunning bronze Versace; it’s high time we took a look at her long and winding road to that high point. I only wish I’d had time to pull it together sooner. I blame first grade homework. It is heinous.

[Photos: Getty]